Remember, remember, the Fourth[1] of November,
Catgirls, Glowsticks, and Goth!
No justification why catgirl goth ravin'
Should ever be forsought!

(short version: party at my place Sat Nov 4 9 PM wear ears dress goth)

In our last installment, we learned about the failed plot of a group
of crossdressing Catholic foxes, dressed as black cats, attempting to
blow up Parliament. We also learned that we celebrate Foxy Day every
year on the Saturday night closest to November 5th by dressing up as
catgirls and dancing to repetitive beats and flashing lights.

However, there are a number of holiday traditions that have evolved as
the role of foxes in society has developed. For example, the first few
years of Foxy Day celebrations were large, public spectacles, people
burning effigies in the street and beating (with glowsticks) the furries
brave or foolish enough to come out of their hovels. Glowstick technology
was very limited those days, so these poor creatures were being beaten 
with glass tubes full of uranium. Many of their children had birth
defects; these and similar incidents are the origination of the 
insulting term "four-eyes." [2]

It is unknown whether it was such a mutation or the effects of centuries
of hunting that led foxes to develop such long legs in the 1800s, but
this particular line of foxes were able to break various species barriers
in the fields of track racing, bicycling, and pornography. The phrase
"She's a fox!" used to be literal, and a surprise; Victorians crowded
around grainy photographs where her legs really _did_ go up to her tits
--- and tail.

Unfortunately, most of these adaptations were not so advantageous. 
Some became like common animals, incapable of speech or seemingly 
of thought. (God did not make the platypus.) Others turned into
gnarled, static representations of their former selves; this is where
trees came from. (Fucking trees. Trying to kill you. The plants are 
still bitter about this.) A few even lost their ears and tails and
became people --- this is where modern-day furries, the type on 
the internet, come from.

Internet furries also celebrate Foxy Day, but they have bizarre
celebrations more in line with some sort of cult. Rather than aither
glorifying or vilifying the actions of Guy Fox, they attempt to forget
the tragedies and glories of the past, and drown their inadequacy in
a roiling sea of regrets. (and Livejournal) 

It might at first seem that this action is in remembrance of the
oppression faced in the past. These furries, however, have forgotten
their roots. They do not remember the Nth of November! They do not study
the history of their forebears! They are doomed to repeat the mistakes
of the past if they do not understand the path to the future. Luckily
for all of us, the path to the future can be found at the:

CATGIRL GOTH RAVE!!!!!!
CATHEDRAL OF SAINT URSULA (address elided)
9 PM

Dress as a goth catgirl or you may be dressed at the door. We're
serious about this. We're sewing ears. And we're buying eyeliner.
Also, there will be pounding, pounding techno music. There will be
quieter space upstairs, but if you have eardrum damage, it might
be best to celebrate Foxy Day in the privacy of your own home. The
Internet is here to help you.

Also note that at midnight (when it turns to November 5th) I will have
turned 27. It should not escape you that my birthdate is the historic 
Foxy Day; I have long been lauded as she who will take up the mantle 
of the first Catgirl Goth Rave and bring equality to the fox people.
Recently I was offered California as a memento of my visit to the Senate.
I politely declined. I don't have enough experience points to take over
the world yet. I can only take over the world if you come to my party.
COME TO MY PARTY. 

Presents are not requested and not necessary, and the thing you people
did last year with all the boxes was _wicked_ not necessary, although 
you are all angels or, if not, you might as well be angels.

Fucking British Library,

-r. [3]

[1] The Fifth, Observed

[2] A particular collection of coyotes in Northern England in the 1700
developed large ears that would fold halfway over their eyes. These ears
also had concentric black circles that looked like a second pair of eyes.

[3] Some people actually believe this sort of thing: 
http://shadowlore.proboards27.com/index.cgi?board=Elf&action=print&thread=1101286609
I really have no idea what to think about this. Maybe they should get into
the business of writing party invitations.